Well, I will be honest, I have been really frustrated lately with my second half journey. Worrying about MY plans, MY path, going MY WAY on MY time line! Enough already! At times, completely losing sight of who I am serving here and getting caught up in the “world” of this instead of the “spirit” of this. I find myself behaving very much like I do in the working world. Create a plan, set the milestones, execute the plan, meet the deadlines, rinse-repeat! HA! That doesn’t work so well on His time line, I am here to tell you. I quote the inspiring words of Dale Dawson, a seasoned Halftimer on this topic… “I feel like I’m in a movie and each day I wake up and I’m handed a new script and my job is to act out the script according to His divine plan.” I say, wow, really? are you kidding me? After spending a week with Dale in Rwanda, I know that this is exactly how he lives and the contributions that he has made to Rwanda on behalf of our Lord is astounding. So for me, the newbie, I’m just trying to make myself more available and perhaps I will get a starter bullet list and work my way towards a full script 🙂 Dale is certainly an inspiration. My lesson here is to let go of the “control” that I THINK I have in my life. Funny how that “control” only leaves me feeling out of control – always.
So this is why I say “inspiration never comes from ME.” How could it from this selfish view point? Just when I ask for clarity, guidance, and some progress on our desires to help build businesses in Rwanda, out of the blue I am blessed with the most precious inspiration from none other than, a Rwandan friend. A future leader so full of hope and encouragement to help us “storm Rwanda” as he put it with our project. I can’t inspire that – that is God at work. So, I must and I shall get ME and MY out of my vocabulary and replace it with His holy name – I serve Him, not ME.
Faith by faith alone will take my vessel where He needs it to be…I must obey.